The opposite of receiving. I've learnt to let go

I lost someone,
and i'm not scared to post for their eyes to see,
because i've got nothing to lose anymore.
within the days of my becoming 16, the person my life revolved around disappeared.
I still don't know why, they never explained. All i could get was an i don't know.
I think about my actions sometimes, i think maybe it was in my head the amount of effort i put in trying to keep them in my life.
Maybe it was all in my head, how close we were.
I want to rewind everything and go back to how it was,
I wish that i could still call you my friend.
I wish you could have tried a bit harder, after i had left it open to you.
You brought up such a hard subject for me to talk about with you,
there was so much that could have been said, but in shame i kept it to myself
with fear of driving you away. But you beat me to it.
You showed me the side of you, that i had been trying to force out of my brain.
I'd you seen you behave like this, but never thought it would happen to us.
I thought that perhaps you cared about me enough to refuse that path and deal with things differently. You proved me wrong and though you expected to be a priority to me, I see i never ever was to you.




I appreciate your judgement, it's proved that I can't trust a word you say. Those must be some pair of binoculars that you see every move I make. So I'll never be a liar, but you'll always be two-faced.
You'll get what's coming to you, You're blinded by your instincts.
I'm not your fucking game, I'm not so easily beat.
I'm looking down at this mess that you've made, and I can't believe that I stayed so unhappy for so long, Where did I go wrong?
I've got to get out of this, my hand is on the handle. We're leaving everything behind,
Goodbye for a lifetime